Here I am again.

So here I am again....

Writing my feelings down, like no one's business. I've put this on blogger, because I only want a certain amount of people reading this and tumblr isn't the place.

So how am I really feeling is what you want to know? Well I'll tell you.

I feel like shite. Some days I'm fine, other days i'm just down. Crying all the time, suicide, total depression. This isn't the way for a 22 year old to live.

I haven't told my family how I'm feeling, i've never approached them with my feelings. I just feel I can't talk to them about how I feel.

And I'm sure both Justin and Rebecca are fed up listening to me. Guys i'm sorry if i constantly moan at you both.

Last year's events are still on my mind, the hurt is still there and to be perfectly honest, i just feel that i can no longer be honest with myself and others. I care a lot for people but sometimes i should just stop because i'm scared of being hurt.

I feel like i'm no longer strong any more. Thoughts of suicide is just getting worse and there will come a day that I won't be longer here, it'll have taken over me.

I just hope i can sort myself out when i'm in Canada it's the one thing i've been looking forward to this year. I don't want to be living like this for the rest of my life, I just want to get over this but i don't want to keep moaning at people it's really unfair.

Just hopefully by the time i post my next blog i'll be a wee bit better.